Tag Archive: sex toy


Sex-Positive DC

Spare a moment for sex-positivity in my new and beloved town of DC?  I recently met up with an awesome woman named Jessica Vondyke, who sex toyis the owner of The Garden, an up-and-coming sex positive community center and toy shop in DC.  Basically, she believes (and I affirm!) that there is not enough space for people to love and learn about sex in a healthy, positive manner.

Her brainchild, The Garden, is going to be two floors of awesome devoted to just that.  On the bottom floor, Jessica will stock woman-friendly, queer-friendly, well-made sex toys to enhance your sex life.  There will also be classes hosted a couple times a week by awesome sex-positive, LGBTQ, fat-positive, polyamorous and kinky presenters to engage on all kinds of sexy subjects.  On the top floor, Jessica is opening her doors to an array of bodyworkers, therapists, and other specialists to offer private services to Garden customers.

The Garden will be the place to engage with sexuality on all levels, and Jessica want every to feel at home there.  The best way to do that is to play a part in helping The Garden open its doors.  There is an Indigogo campaign that is almost over, but you can still donate here:  http://www.indiegogo.com/thegardendc

If you are in DC, you should also check out Red Palace on Saturday, June 30th for a night of burlesque, bellydancing, and sexy talk.  Tickets are $15, so you can help raise money for The Garden and have a fun Saturday night!  What’s not to love?  RSVP here http://www.facebook.com/events/238600402918389/

and show your love for The Garden on their FB page: https://www.facebook.com/TheGardenDC 

This fabulous review comes to you courtesy of my very good friend Susan, who jumped at the chance to provide perspective and input on some Babeland sex toys from a straight couple’s perspective.  Susan is a bartender in DC by day (or rather by night?) and she believes in embracing all aspects of her sexuality, including the fun that comes from new sensations, new situations, and new toys.

A friend of mine recently approached me and my boyfriend about getting a heterosexual couples opinion of sex toys, for her blog, to which we both immediately said yes. Our first batch of toys came relatively quickly and we decided to start with The Flexi Felix. This was the first toy that my boyfriend had ever used and my first encounter with anal beads.

Flexi Felix toy

Click the picture to buy the Flexi Felix from Babeland -- Bianca earns a commission for it!

The first category that I will talk about is packaging and instructions; both my lover and I agree that the packaging is very classy and discrete. However, the instructions for comfortable insertion are non-existent. This is not to say that it was uncomfortable in any way, just that I feel that more detailed instructions would make couples who are trying anal play for the first time more relaxed and confident.

The second category of review is material and shape, The Flexi Felix is made of 100% silicon which makes it very easy to clean, and lets face it, when it comes to anal play sanitation is a must. I am very pleased with the shape and design of the toy with the first bead being small enough for a comfortable warm up. The silicon is such a smooth material that it feels almost like a finger. Another plus to the shape of the toy is that some beads have been known to slip into the anus and needed to be retrieved, this toy however has a caterpillar like design with two large rings on the end for good grip.

Now to the part we have all been waiting for: use. Now one of my rules about anal toys is that I always clean myself out before I am going to play with toys. For me it helps with the stigma that our society puts on anal play and lets me relax and just focus on the pleasure. While this may not make sense to some people I am from a vary conservative background where vaginal intercourse before marriage is frowned upon while anything involving anal play is just considered vulgar. Let me tell you what, they have no idea what kind of mind blowing, core burning, bone rattling, toe curling orgasms that they are missing by just refusing to try any anal play. Anyway back to the toy – once I was clean and ready to go, we started with my lover putting light pressure around my hole to get me excited and once I started bucking he slipped the first bead into me. The pleasure was almost too much as I felt the first wave of orgasms begin. He continued to slip the rest of the string into me one bead at a time and I felt the pleasure of being stretched slowly and lovingly to the limit. He then pulled it out in one tug and I all but exploded. He then put it right back in and filled my vagina with himself the experience was mind blowing; just writing this review is making me want to go use them again and again.

This toy gets an overall review of 100 and is a wonderful addition to any toy chest. We highly recommend this to any couple who wants to take there pleasure to another level. Once again if your looking for this toy its called THE FLEXI FELIX and you can find it at babeland.com.

Though completely unrelated, let’s hear it for your activism stopping SOPA and PIPA from getting through Congress. Congrats!

I got another one of those exciting packages from Babeland today- why, another sex toy for little ol’ me? Thanks babeland!
Today I’m reviewing “My First Jackrabbit Vibe,” which is one of the most affordable rabbit-style vibrators on the market. “Well, what makes a vibrator ‘rabbit style?’ you might ask.” Looking at this vibe, it becomes immediately apparent that the rabbit is…an actual rabbit. Rabbit vibrators have a unique design to offer both clitoral and vaginal stimulation, with a bullet vibe on the outside and a rotating or vibrating shaft for insertion. The rabbit part comes from the thermoplastic rubber coating on the bullet vibe in the shape of…well, a rabbit. The tall ears amplify the vibrations for a sweet buzzy feeling on your clit.
I can break up my thoughts on this product into a number of categories. Let’s start with:
Packaging/aesthetics: this is usually not a big selling point one way or another for me, but I was not a huge fan of the Rabbit’s wrapping. It has a big picture of Jenna Jameson, a famous porn actress, in a bunny-tail thong and rabbit ears. This was an immediate turn off for me, because the last thing I want my sex toys associated with is the mainstream porn that Jameson is famous for. I’m not trying to be a porn snob, and to each his/her/zer own, but Jameson doesn’t get me in that randy mood. The box looks like it is designed with horny boyfriends in mind much more than the women the product is actually servicing.
Also, the rabbit is BRIGHT PINK. I mean, seen from space bright frickin’ pink. I’m not a huge fan, but I suppose it’s not a breaking point.
Material/Production: The rabbit is coated with Thermoplastic Rubber, which is essentially the phthalate-free version of jelly. That means that it is safe for your nether regions, but it is more porous than your silicone toys, so you ABSOLUTELY MUST use a condom with this to keep it safe and sterile. TPR also melts at higher temperatures, which means you cannot boil this vibe to get it clean. That being said, you really shouldn’t boil anything with electronics inside of it…

Click on the picture to go to Babeland's site and pick up My First Jackrabbit Vibrator!!

The rabbit is made by California Exotic Novelties, a company I’m not particularly fond of, which is a major point against it. In my experience, the company produces much shoddier-quality toys, but gets away with it because of its very low prices. This toy seems fairly sturdy in construction, however, I am still not a fan of the company. One of the reasons I shop at Babeland is that they are a purveyor whose business practices I can get behind: they are socially responsible, engaged with their community, woman and queer-friendly, and overall just a good group of individuals. It surprises me, for exactly those reasons, that they would even stock a toy from CalExotics, which to me is synonymous with bad quality, heterosexism and a bit of sleaze (hence the packaging I find unbecoming and akward). The Babeland associate I work with on these reviews explained to me that they stock this toy as a low-cost option for a rabbit vibrator, which makes sense for those of us on a tight budget, but I’d rather not endorse them.  It also upsets me slightly that Babeland’s site does not list the Rabbit Vibe as a CalExotics toy.

Use!  As for the part ya’ll actually care about, I wasn’t too impressed with the rabbit. It’s BIG by my standards (about 4 fingers), but not uncomfortable when inserted. The vibrations were nice and buzzy from the rabbit ears bouncing off one another, and it has a high and low speed which I think are more than adequate, but there was a problem of angles. I don’t think 90% of us are built with the right vagina-to-clit ratio for the rabbit vibe to hit both those sensitive membranes at the same time. I had to use my other hand to push the bullet

against my body, which eliminated much of the reverberatory buzzy-ness that makes the rabbit shape particularly nice. At the same time, I didn’t feel like the rotating beads in the shaft of the vibrator did much for me. I could feel them, but it wasn’t stimulating in a particularly exciting way.

The major problem being that when in the throes of ecstasy, I (as many women like me) tend to “clamp down.” This is fine when the object of my affection is flexible, like silicone or fingers, but not so good when I’m squeezing a rather large metal-filled apparatus. Ouch.

In summation, at $39, I’d say the Rabbit isn’t a terribly good buy. The likelihood of it fitting your body is fairly slim, and the sensation from the rotating beads in the shaft left me with a “meh” rather than “WOW.” This is the lower-end pricing for a rabbit vibe, however, so if you really feel compelled to try one, this is probably your best bet.

As always, thanks to Babeland for sending me their products to review, and for being especially responsive with my questions and concerns about this product!

Stay cool, queer kids.

The Vibrator

I recently got into watching the show “How I Met Your Mother” due to wonder that is Netflix Instant Streaming and a sudden expanse of free time now that my semester has ended.  I love the show, but one of the episodes I watched recently totally baffles me.

One of the main characters, Lily, is getting married in a few days, so she throws a bridal shower.  Her best friend, Robin, in an effort to be racy and exciting, buys her a vibrator as a gift, which she gets super embarrassed about when she finds out that the bridal shower is mostly Lily’s grandparents, cousins who are soon-to-be-nuns, and other wholesome types.  After the hilarity of giving the gift, there’s this weird moment where Robin says how embarrassing the gift was and offers to take it back.  And then there’s Bianca, sitting on the couch, eating her chicken curry and thinking, “WTF?  How is this awkward?  Doesn’t she already have one?”

I understand that sex toys tend to be one of those private things that we talk about mostly in very sexually charged environments and can only laugh about elsewhere, but I felt like this episode really did a disservice to individuals who do use vibrators all the time, and consider it a normal, healthy part of their sexuality.

Robin and Lily’s interaction implied two things that I think suck about US “sex culture”:

collection of dildos and vibrators

1. That normal people don’t have vibrators.  The fact that Robin didn’t even know where to buy one and Lily didn’t already have one makes the statement that “regular people” don’t need crazy things like vibrators, and that’s a message that a lot of people have internalized.  When I was shopping around for my first one, I asked a couple friends for suggestions and not a single one of them owned a vibrator.  Most of them laughed at me, and one went so far as to say, “I have a boyfriend to do that for me.”

I’m sorry, love, are you too good to masturbate?  Well, I guess that’s her loss.

2. That the only legitimate reason to buy/keep a vibrator is for a laugh.  Robin clearly buys this gift as a joke, and when she offers to return it, Lily says that she will keep it because her husband, Marshall, would get a kick out of it, and deserves to see it.  The subtext to this is of course that they are both actually fighting over the vibrator, because neither one of them has one, but they can’t actively SAY that they want it, and GOD FORBID, Robin couldn’t go out and buy another one for herself because that would just be weird.

 

Thing is, it’s unfortunate that these are the messages that get sent to people about sexual health and pleasure, but we are adults capable of seeking out alternative messages and bucking the trends of the global media when we want to.  So I won’t boo-hoo for too long about all the orgasm-starved people out there who are too scared to go out to a sex shop or order a dildo from Babeland.com.

But when these messages turn into behavior like this, I get a little pissed off.

Because it’s one thing to hold your own private opinions about sex toys—It’s QUITE ANOTHER to leave a note in a strangers luggage about them (affirming or otherwise!)

I’m happy to say that the man who left that note was fired for his indiscretion, but I think the incident illuminates larger societal discomfort that we just need to get the heck over.  Josey Vogels from the Huffington Post writes eloquently and entertainingly about some of the other problems people have faced while traveling with sex toys- from sheepish security guards to excessive scrutiny by border police.  And while it’s funny enough from a distance or when such infringements are an occasional occurrence, but I feel like this culture of being ashamed and awkward about sex toys gets old after a while.

When you’re in my line of work, travelling with sex toys is part of the job. Which is why I was relieved when earlier this year the Tranportation Security Administration officials in the U.S. announced that “whips, chains, handcuffs, vibrators, and other personal ‘toys’ that don’t exceed certain measurements are OK to pack in your carry-on as long they don’t become ‘club-like,'” according to Lifehacker.com.

As far as I know, no one has ever been “clubbed” on a plane with a vibrator, but in these post-9/11 days, when a tube of liquid hair gel is a potential threat, what’s a customs guy to do with a bag full of tubes of personal lubricant?

Confiscate them… of course.

The dualistic way we approach sex toys- at once as something fascinating and desirable, but also awkward and unnecessary- is frustrating.  I cannot tell you the number of people who have been incredibly excited when I tell them that I get sex toys from Babeland for reviewing on Forever the Queerest Kids, but who own none of their own!

One of the things I really hope to accomplish with this blog is to make people more comfortable with their own bodies sexually, and not to feel afraid to talk about and explore new things in their sexual lives.  For some people, that might be opening up their previously monogamous relationship.  For others it might be learning to ask their partner for dirty talk in bed, or learning to relax about masturbation.  And I hope for many people, it’s a growing comfort with owning and using sex toys in their personal lives, whether that’s solo, with a partner(s).

 

Stay cool, queer kids, and go buy some sex toys!

 

Eeep!  I’m so far behind on this sex toy thing, already!  Babeland, those wonderful sex-positive, woman and queer friendly people, sent me another batch of toys last week, and I am just now getting around to writing about them.

 

For reference, one of the trickiest things about living in DC is the likelihood that you will be sleeping (and playing) in an apartment with very thin walls and a multitude of neighbors.  Right now, I’m lucky enough to be renting out a basement apartment in one-family row house, but I anticipate that close quarters will be part of my routine for a long time.  And I’ll put it right out there…I’m kind of a screamer.   These two things don’t go well together, so I was super excited when one of the treats in my goodie basket from Babeland was this Jawbreaker Gag, made with an honest-to-goodness Jawbreakers candy ball.  Excellent.

Unfortunately, despite its unique and entertaining concept, the Jawbreaker Gag has some serious design flaws.  The strap which secures the gag around the head is made of PVC, which is fine for hold and stretch, but causes pretty serious chafing on the sides of my mouth.  This is especially true if you move the gag around a lot, which I have to, because the Jawbreaker is HUGE, and doesn’t sit in my mouth comfortably.

In addition to its cumbersome size, the Jawbreaker “bit” causes a serious spit problem.  Note that the gag is made of sugar, which makes the mouth water.  Unfortunately, the shape of the Jawbreaker forces my throat open awkwardly, making it difficult to swallow.  Thus, as my mouth waters from the sugar, the spit dribbles unpleasantly out of the corners.  That can be a great thing for people embracing humiliation play, but since the gag was really just to keep me quiet, and not to be part of a scene, it broke my headspace and made me feel really unsexy every time my mouth filled up with spit.

Gag me with a Spoon

Actually...please don't

That was probably more than you wanted to hear, eh?

Well, there are two other things that you should know.  One, because of its sugar content, the Jawbreaker gag is not safe to share or reuse, and Two, the same feature makes it difficult to store hygienically.

Summation: the Jawbreaker gag is adorable, and yummy, but it doesn’t fit comfortably in the mouth and causes chafing from the PVC strap.  It is difficult to store and impossible to sanitize and share.  Which is probably why Babeland classifies it as a bachelorette gag gift.

So if you’re looking for something silly and cute to buy your girlfriend for her bachelorette party, this is a great use of $13.  But if you want a high-quality gag that will last you a long time, search a little longer and pay a little more for something leather or silicone that fits your mouth well.

Stay cool, queer kids.

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