Archive for January, 2012

Though completely unrelated, let’s hear it for your activism stopping SOPA and PIPA from getting through Congress. Congrats!

I got another one of those exciting packages from Babeland today- why, another sex toy for little ol’ me? Thanks babeland!
Today I’m reviewing “My First Jackrabbit Vibe,” which is one of the most affordable rabbit-style vibrators on the market. “Well, what makes a vibrator ‘rabbit style?’ you might ask.” Looking at this vibe, it becomes immediately apparent that the rabbit is…an actual rabbit. Rabbit vibrators have a unique design to offer both clitoral and vaginal stimulation, with a bullet vibe on the outside and a rotating or vibrating shaft for insertion. The rabbit part comes from the thermoplastic rubber coating on the bullet vibe in the shape of…well, a rabbit. The tall ears amplify the vibrations for a sweet buzzy feeling on your clit.
I can break up my thoughts on this product into a number of categories. Let’s start with:
Packaging/aesthetics: this is usually not a big selling point one way or another for me, but I was not a huge fan of the Rabbit’s wrapping. It has a big picture of Jenna Jameson, a famous porn actress, in a bunny-tail thong and rabbit ears. This was an immediate turn off for me, because the last thing I want my sex toys associated with is the mainstream porn that Jameson is famous for. I’m not trying to be a porn snob, and to each his/her/zer own, but Jameson doesn’t get me in that randy mood. The box looks like it is designed with horny boyfriends in mind much more than the women the product is actually servicing.
Also, the rabbit is BRIGHT PINK. I mean, seen from space bright frickin’ pink. I’m not a huge fan, but I suppose it’s not a breaking point.
Material/Production: The rabbit is coated with Thermoplastic Rubber, which is essentially the phthalate-free version of jelly. That means that it is safe for your nether regions, but it is more porous than your silicone toys, so you ABSOLUTELY MUST use a condom with this to keep it safe and sterile. TPR also melts at higher temperatures, which means you cannot boil this vibe to get it clean. That being said, you really shouldn’t boil anything with electronics inside of it…

Click on the picture to go to Babeland's site and pick up My First Jackrabbit Vibrator!!

The rabbit is made by California Exotic Novelties, a company I’m not particularly fond of, which is a major point against it. In my experience, the company produces much shoddier-quality toys, but gets away with it because of its very low prices. This toy seems fairly sturdy in construction, however, I am still not a fan of the company. One of the reasons I shop at Babeland is that they are a purveyor whose business practices I can get behind: they are socially responsible, engaged with their community, woman and queer-friendly, and overall just a good group of individuals. It surprises me, for exactly those reasons, that they would even stock a toy from CalExotics, which to me is synonymous with bad quality, heterosexism and a bit of sleaze (hence the packaging I find unbecoming and akward). The Babeland associate I work with on these reviews explained to me that they stock this toy as a low-cost option for a rabbit vibrator, which makes sense for those of us on a tight budget, but I’d rather not endorse them.  It also upsets me slightly that Babeland’s site does not list the Rabbit Vibe as a CalExotics toy.

Use!  As for the part ya’ll actually care about, I wasn’t too impressed with the rabbit. It’s BIG by my standards (about 4 fingers), but not uncomfortable when inserted. The vibrations were nice and buzzy from the rabbit ears bouncing off one another, and it has a high and low speed which I think are more than adequate, but there was a problem of angles. I don’t think 90% of us are built with the right vagina-to-clit ratio for the rabbit vibe to hit both those sensitive membranes at the same time. I had to use my other hand to push the bullet

against my body, which eliminated much of the reverberatory buzzy-ness that makes the rabbit shape particularly nice. At the same time, I didn’t feel like the rotating beads in the shaft of the vibrator did much for me. I could feel them, but it wasn’t stimulating in a particularly exciting way.

The major problem being that when in the throes of ecstasy, I (as many women like me) tend to “clamp down.” This is fine when the object of my affection is flexible, like silicone or fingers, but not so good when I’m squeezing a rather large metal-filled apparatus. Ouch.

In summation, at $39, I’d say the Rabbit isn’t a terribly good buy. The likelihood of it fitting your body is fairly slim, and the sensation from the rotating beads in the shaft left me with a “meh” rather than “WOW.” This is the lower-end pricing for a rabbit vibe, however, so if you really feel compelled to try one, this is probably your best bet.

As always, thanks to Babeland for sending me their products to review, and for being especially responsive with my questions and concerns about this product!

Stay cool, queer kids.


I’m A Slave For You

One of the hardest things for us equality-driven feminist-ish types to wrap our heads around is the BDSM idea of the master/slave relationship.  These relationships can take on a lot of different forms, but for a lot of people (myself included for quite some time), the idea that sticks is that of a woman caged against her will by the domineering of an aggressive man.  Never mind the numerous gendered assumptions made in this model (which are equally problematic)- I always believed that you couldn’t be a slave without giving up some inherent part of yourself in the submission, that you lose WHO YOU ARE when you become a slave.

Which is why it’s always so refreshing and exciting and hot to read The Perverted Negress, a blog about being in a master/slave relationships, from the slave’s perspective.  Mollena (the blogess herself) has a great snarky, sometimes even biting way of discussing things with her master, while simultaneously writing very evocatively about the emotional and spiritual journey that being a slave puts her through.  She is very much her own person, and anyone who is interested in a master/slave relationship, but afraid of the way the dynamic might cage their own sense of identity, should read some of what she’s written.

Today I want to link to a great advice column Mollena wrote giving suggestions for dominants.  Her unique viewpoint as a (particularly articulate) slave humanizes dominants and masters in a really wonderful way.

Yeah the big tough dominant thing is a hot and sexy image. But knowing about your process and emotional state

From Mollena's site- Copyright Michele Serchuk

creates intimacy and lets us trust you with our intimate thoughts and feelings as well. When you are involved in an intimate relationship, sometimes you don’t even have to hear the emotions of another spoken aloud to know when something is amiss, or when they are simmering with joy. Regardless? Letting those in service to you or owned by you in on your emotional state is absolutely necessary.

Too often dominants/masters are looked at like giant, looming, unquestionable figures without flaws or misgivings.  And that can be part of the appeal.  Being able to give yourself over to someone you trust completely and know will unconditionally be able to handle you with strength, authority, and grace.  But that’s an incredible expectation for even the most poised of dominants, and it is worthwhile to acknowledge that they are people with weaknesses and doubts too, who may even need comfort, who aren’t afraid to say “please” and “thank you.”

Celebrating dominance is not something our society is conditioned to do.  We have culturally encoded equality as (at least the hypothetical) objective, and so master/sub relationships come across as abusive and scary.  But they don’t have to be.

The sex-positive and BDSM blog circles have done an amazing job of bringing to the fore the voices of submissives who celebrating their desire to be dominated.  A great example of this is a recent post by Alyssa Royse, who owns the women’s sexuality company, Not So Secret.  She writes:

As usual, the woman who approached me after my TEDx talk wanted me to tell her that it was demeaning to see women tied up and spanked. And as usual, I told her I didn’t feel that way at all. I told her that I am a woman who likes to be tied up, blindfolded, spanked and devoured. And that it takes an enormous amount of strength to stand up and say that. To ask for it. To  be good, giving and game sexually and get what I want. It takes courage to trust so completely that I can get what I want.

Sometimes, the strongest decision you can make is the decision to not control things. To trust.

This is one of the most eloquent arguments for the beauty, honesty, and positivity that can come out of BDSM relationships.  But there are a lot of voices still missing from this conversation.

Where are the submissive men to dominant women?

Where are the lesbian, genderqueer/fluid, trans couples- monogamous and non- engaging in BDSM?  (a nod to Sinclair of Sugarbutch for being on this train and talking about it eloquently)

Where are the gay men talking about masculinity and dominance, the contrast between being seen as a bear and liking to be submissive, being effeminate and liking to dominate?

Where are the LGBT people talking about the way suburbia, marriage, and assimilation-ism is changing how we relate to our BDSM identities?

Where are the kittens?!

Where is low-income kinky people talking about how they find BDSM relationships in a world where $30 entrance fees and expensive toys exclude them from traditional venues?

Where are the people with disabilities who are talking about making BDSM work for them in an able-bodied world?

If you guys know of high-quality bloggers talking about this stuff, throw a recommendation my way.  I’ll put them on the blogroll for everyone to know about, and we can all learn.  Because there are so many viewpoints- so many ways of interpreting BDSM, master/slave, etc that we should try our hardest to hear them all.

Stay cool, queer kids, and hit me up with any questions.



Equality for Argentina

I know I’m way behind on this viral video, but these ads for LGBT equality in Argentina are inspiring and worth sharing, timely or not.



More info on the ad campaign (and even more cute videos!) is here at blabbeando.

Stay cool, queer kids.


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