Thank goodness for you wonderful people.  I am crazy busy because of Transgender Day of Remembrance (which I will write about shortly, because it’s super important), and thankfully someone stepped up to the plate with a blog entry for today.  Thanks again!


Shibari Brain

Check out Geeky Kink's website!

For those of you not in-the-know, two weekends ago was The Geeky Kink Event- a smorgasbord of crazy, kinky workshops, games, geeky/nerdy comedy, burlesque shows, and play spaces.  Held out in the middle of nowhere, New Jersey (seriously, who calls a town Piscataway?), kinksters took over the entire Radisson hotel to inflict their madness.

There was Shibari Hangman, a tentacle chair, a Dr. Who Tardis with rings for rope bondage, Strip Twister, bacon brownies, and gratuitous amounts of cowbell.

As a not-so-kinky, not-so-geeky person, I will admit to feeling a little out of the loop during some of the events: I understood none of the references to Kingdom Hearts or Battlestar Gallactica and I was too timid to play in any of the dungeon spaces with random strangers.  But there were a number of things I realized during the weekend that are valuable to anyone, and make going to an event like this worthwhile, even if you have no desire to be tied up and flogged with a fire whip.

1. Radical body love.

People at Geeky Kink often made it a mission to walk around in as little clothing as possible.  Curvy women wore bellytops and short body loveskirts without worrying if the cellulite in their legs and belly would show.    There were men running topless and women who stripped down for demos in front of people they had never met before.  There were a lot of “non-classic” body shapes there- extremely thin, wiry men and fat busty women, but no one seemed to hesitate for a moment showing off exactly who they were.  And I’ll admit, it caught on.  I’m pretty happy with the way my body looks, and I do have a more classically-pretty figure, but even I can get anxious about certain areas when I’ve had too many cookies or haven’t exercised in a week.  But there was no anxiety at this event.  When the people at Shibari Hangman voted to have me suspended, I had to discard my corset and my skirt and stand in front of a 30 person audience in just my underwear while a rigger wrapped rope around my chest, legs and feet.

And you know what?  It was FINE.

I think everyone can learn from this kind of attitude.  No matter what kind of body you have, someone will love it and find it sexy.  And EVERYONE should be able to accept it.

2. Radical gender acceptance/ gender play

When the people at Geeky Kink were wearing clothes, they were rarely normal street clothes, and quite often did not match the gender you would associate with the person wearing them.  There were guys in high heels and beautiful Japanese gowns, girls rocking suits and ties, cross-dressers, transgendered people, the genderqueer, and every shade of gender in between.

Even when women dressed “feminine,” they did so in extreme, non-traditional ways.  There was renaissance garb, tight Victorian corsets, and Catholic school girl skirts.  All of these styles were worn as a way to play with the rigid expectations of our society about how men and women are “supposed” to dress.

It was pretty damn empowering.  Consider a 2,000 strong contingent of men and women saying “Fuck Gender Expectations.  I can dress slutty, and screw whether people think I’m respectable.  I can dress feminine, and screw whether people think I’m man enough.  I can wear (or not wear) whatever makes me feel good about myself and other people can just get over it.”


Geeky Kink is one of the few spaces where gender non-conformity is not just accepted, but embraced, glorified, and normatized.  It’s stranger to con attendees if you AREN’T rocking a crazy costume, dreads, or some curious mix-mash of unrelated clothing.  These things become normal only for a weekend, but it is the most all-encompassing, truly accepting

There are tons of other great things about the convention- like learning how to do fire-cupping and taking pictures with a life-size Tardis (no, unfortunately, it’s not bigger on the inside…but it does have rings for rope bondage!), and eating amazing made-to-order omelets at the hotel next door for breakfast, but I really just loved the freedom everyone had to be exactly what they wanted to be.  It’s pretty awesome, and awfully hard to come back home from.  I wish every place were as crazy accepting and unique as Geeky Kink.  I highly recommend it to anyone interested in going next year.