Eeep!  I’m so far behind on this sex toy thing, already!  Babeland, those wonderful sex-positive, woman and queer friendly people, sent me another batch of toys last week, and I am just now getting around to writing about them.

 

For reference, one of the trickiest things about living in DC is the likelihood that you will be sleeping (and playing) in an apartment with very thin walls and a multitude of neighbors.  Right now, I’m lucky enough to be renting out a basement apartment in one-family row house, but I anticipate that close quarters will be part of my routine for a long time.  And I’ll put it right out there…I’m kind of a screamer.   These two things don’t go well together, so I was super excited when one of the treats in my goodie basket from Babeland was this Jawbreaker Gag, made with an honest-to-goodness Jawbreakers candy ball.  Excellent.

Unfortunately, despite its unique and entertaining concept, the Jawbreaker Gag has some serious design flaws.  The strap which secures the gag around the head is made of PVC, which is fine for hold and stretch, but causes pretty serious chafing on the sides of my mouth.  This is especially true if you move the gag around a lot, which I have to, because the Jawbreaker is HUGE, and doesn’t sit in my mouth comfortably.

In addition to its cumbersome size, the Jawbreaker “bit” causes a serious spit problem.  Note that the gag is made of sugar, which makes the mouth water.  Unfortunately, the shape of the Jawbreaker forces my throat open awkwardly, making it difficult to swallow.  Thus, as my mouth waters from the sugar, the spit dribbles unpleasantly out of the corners.  That can be a great thing for people embracing humiliation play, but since the gag was really just to keep me quiet, and not to be part of a scene, it broke my headspace and made me feel really unsexy every time my mouth filled up with spit.

Gag me with a Spoon

Actually...please don't

That was probably more than you wanted to hear, eh?

Well, there are two other things that you should know.  One, because of its sugar content, the Jawbreaker gag is not safe to share or reuse, and Two, the same feature makes it difficult to store hygienically.

Summation: the Jawbreaker gag is adorable, and yummy, but it doesn’t fit comfortably in the mouth and causes chafing from the PVC strap.  It is difficult to store and impossible to sanitize and share.  Which is probably why Babeland classifies it as a bachelorette gag gift.

So if you’re looking for something silly and cute to buy your girlfriend for her bachelorette party, this is a great use of $13.  But if you want a high-quality gag that will last you a long time, search a little longer and pay a little more for something leather or silicone that fits your mouth well.

Stay cool, queer kids.

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